Dear Mary
Mom’s had a stroke.

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Dear Mary,

My Mom is 84 and recently had a mild stroke. She is living on her own and needs physical theory to help get her left side to get moving again. The problem is that she lives about an hour from me, so I cannot see her every day and she really needs more help (both with daily needs and more physical theory than she is currently getting. I am also very worried that she may have had more mirror strokes since the first one. She is not doing well at all. The local government agency in her area cannot offer her more help at this point. How can I help my Mom more?

Kathy

Hi Kathy:

Would your Mom be willing to move closer to you? And would your Mom and your family be open to the idea to have her move (at least temporally) into a facility that could prepare her meals, help her with baths, etc. and potentially receive more therapy? My guess is that your family would like that but perhaps your Mom may not want to give up the freedom of her home right now. She may however see the value in this idea to make her strong again. If I were in your shoes, here is what I would do.

It sounds odd, but I would start the whole process over again, but closer to where you live. Consider taking your Mom to the local hospital emergency room closer to your home. Be prepared for the potentially long wait to be seen. This step is critical to brining her into your area’s medical system. Tell the hospital staff that she is not doing well and you worry that she has had another stroke. They will take a look at her and most likely do some testing. If it is determined that she would do better at least temporally in a facility, and then let the system kick in. The hospital and local health agency will work together to help find her a place to move into, one that will be closer to you. The key suggestion here is to take her to the hospital near you, not to the hospital near her house.

Bring her to your area, let your area’s resources help her. You will be less stressed once she is safer and in a place where she will get more attention and care than living on her own.

I hope that your Mom feels better soon and that you are able to make the system work to the advantage of your family.

Mary

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Caregiving Matters

Mary is a daughter. She also Chairs our charity. Mary has also held Director roles on three other boards, most recently with The Palcare Network of York Region.

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