Dear Mary
Older sibling won’t let me see my Dad.

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Dear Mary,

I have not seen my father in a year. My older sibling who has POA will not let me see him. As far as I know, the older sibling will not let anyone in my family see him. My children (my fathers grandchildren, and great grandchildren) have also been banned. My other sibling has been banned. My husband has also been banned. My fathers house has been cleared of all his belongings and I didn’t even get a chance to get any of my belongings out of his house. It’s all gone. I have no pictures of family, it was all in his house. I am devastated. I can’t work, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I am so heartbroken. I am seeing specialists now to cope. I really miss my father. We had a excellent relationship. My father and I were very close, we spoke with each other at least once a week. I miss our conversations. Why is this still happening in Canada?

Joanne

Hi Joanne:

I am so sorry to hear the grief that your older sibling has put you through.  Sometimes life is just so unfair.   As soon as I hear stories of an older person being isolated from family and friends, my mind instantly goes to thoughts of elder abuse.  Did you know that isolation is one of the forms of elder abuse?  You also have to worry and wonder if your older sibling is also committing financial abuses.

Have you talked with a lawyer about what has happened and perhaps there are ways that something can be done to negotiate with your older sibling for things that you wished you could have and perhaps there could be ways to re-connect with your father with the help of a lawyer or a trained mediator.

And to your question of why this is happening in Canada, my answer is simple.  There are evil people everywhere and your situation demonstrates to all of us just how important it is to pick the right person named in our POA documents.  I bet your father would be shocked and saddened by this whole situation too.

If the legal route does not work out, than I hope you find peace someday, knowing that while your Father was active in your life, you both were lucky to have each other.  Cherish those good memories as best possible.

 

 

Mary

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Caregiving Matters

Mary is a daughter. She also Chairs our charity. Mary has also held Director roles on three other boards, most recently with The Palcare Network of York Region.

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