“What? You are going there again?”

My husband gets sick of me talking about taking care of my parents. I am trying to please everyone, but I am so unhappy and nothing is working.

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Long Distant Dying

My mother-in-law is dying of cancer. Her POA has decided to make his own life easier by picking a place in their small town for her to go into a long term care facility.

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Guilt Trips

Yesterday I had Christmas with my Dad and my grandmother in her seniors home. It was a nice visit but both my Dad and grandmother spent most of the visit nagging me about how I never come to visit my grandmother. I should visit more often, call and bring the kids around more.

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Taking Mom Out

Our 92 year mother is in her wheelchair all day long. She often sleeps in it during the day and has to be lifted into bed. She no longer walks. She sleeps most of the time, wears diapers and we hire a caregiver in her nursing home to help feed her.

My sister wants to bring my mother out for a family holiday dinner together. There is a three hour window when she does not have to be changed and will most likely be able to enjoy the family outing.

My son and husband will have to lift her into and out of the car and carry her wheelchair up the front stairs. I am worried that this will be alot of pressure and too much for my Mom to handle. Should we take her out or keep her in for our family event?

Donna

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Caregiver Fights

Dear Mary

My mother-in-law is 88 and has recently had cataract surgery. She requires someone to help put the drops in her eyes and to help her around her home – virtually 247 for the next month or so. My husband and his 5 siblings (and their spouses) are all constantly fighting about who is doing what, who does not help enough, etc. The fighting over the phones and in person is getting worse every day. Everyone is already tired of this post-surgery help and is not doing a good job of anything at this point. It is tearing the family apart. What should I do?

Cath

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“The Holidays”

It’s not even December, and I am already stressed out about the Holidays. As a caregiver, I already have so much on my plate. Any ideas to help reduce my stress will be greatly appreciated.

Ruth

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Paying my sister?

My sister takes care of our parents 5 days a week. She is there about 6-8 hours per day. She thinks that “somebody” should be paying her. I think that she should do it for free – after all it is our parents that she is caring for. What do you think?

Jack

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My Dad’s Will

My Dad just told me that he has updated his Will. To me, that means he has changed something, but he will not tell what he has done. I have asked him many times to tell me. Why won’t he tell me?

Gloria

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Dad’s Next Home?

My brother and I are starting to think that it is time to have Dad move to a seniors place.

Do you have any suggestions for us, ideas of costs, what to think about and even how to begin?

Mike

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Mom’s had a stroke.

My Mom is 84 and recently had a mild stroke. She is living on her own and needs physical theory to help get her left side to get moving again. The problem is that she lives about an hour from me, so I cannot see her every day and she really needs more help (both with daily needs and more physical theory than she is currently getting. I am also very worried that she may have had more mirror strokes since the first one. She is not doing well at all. The local government agency in her area cannot offer her more help at this point. How can I help my Mom more?

Kathy

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