Why do I have to pay?

Things are tight for both me and my parents. None of us have alot of money and helping them is really hard for me. They are in their mid 70’s – I have helped them out for a couple of years. How long is long enough to help them out? Why should I be expected to help them out?

Lm

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Does this seem cruel to you?

I was talking with my brother who lives close to my Dad’s seniors’ residence. I live 2,500 miles away and miss being there. David was telling me about how Dad’s hearing aids went missing a couple of months ago. Since then, my brother bought him new ones, but only lets my Dad wear them when he goes to visit him. David visits my Dad once a week. When he arrives he lets my Dad use the hearing aids. When David leaves, he takes them with him. He does not want to keep paying for hearing aids, he is afraid that the new ones will also go missing. I think that this is crazy and cruel. What do you think?

Joe

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My brother did not tell me.

Mom lives in a senior’s building and recently needed emergency surgery. Without the surgery she would have died.

My brother and I have not spoken in years. He has POA for her. My brother did not bother to tell me about how sick Mom was or that surgery even happened. I only learned about all of this from my aunt. How can I get my brother to tell me when things like this happen?

Chris:

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Nothing But Fighting

My siblings and I are doing nothing but fighting these days. We all agree that Mom and Dad need more help, but we cannot agree on what kind of help, who should help or how much all this help will cost. I don’t want to do the actually helping out, I work full time and have kids to raise, but I do want to make sure that there is enough money to take care of them and it would be good too if there is money left over for me when they die. I have bills and responsibilities. I want the best for my parents and me too, but how can I get my siblings to see things my way?

Irene K.

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Dad’s New Girlfriend

My Mom died 4 years ago and my Dad has been very lost without her. He is now dating a woman that none of us like. My Dad does not have alot of money, but we think she is a gold digger. I am afraid he will marry her and then give her everything – including his house.

Glenn

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Jealous Husband

Can you believe it? My husband is jealous of my mother. He tells me that I spend too much time with her, do too much for her and never enough for him.

Stretched to the Limit

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Waltzing Into Town

My brother and sister-in-law arrive in two days for the holidays. They bring lots of gifts and act like guests. Neither one does much to help my Dad while they are here. Most of the care giving is still done by me. I am sick and tired of them doing virtually nothing. What should I do?

Anne

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Stupid Death Rituals

My Mom’s funeral is in 4 days. I feel so sad, so lost and overwhelmed by the details. I have told my family that most of the arrangements seem excessive, a huge waste of money and make me very uncomfortable. What else can I do?

Len

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I Miss My Dad

It has been over 9 years since my Dad died, and it still hurts. I wish he were here. I miss him every day.

Chris

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Grandma has Dementia

I am going next week to see my grandmother. She has Dementia and does not remember me and really does not say much. I really do not expect to have a great time with her, but would like to see her again. Do you have any suggestions about my upcoming visit?

Rod

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