CHRISTINE’S STORY: Spa-ing on Mother’s Day
Mom lives in a long-term-care facility and relishes the chance to “escape” every so often. This year, my sister and I decided to do something special as a Mother’s Day treat.
Every other year!
My mother-in-law just died and my husband came home and told me that he has made an arrangement with his sister about their mother’s ashes. Here is what they have decided (all without opinions of other, of course).
Each will keep the urn for one year. On the anniversary of their mother’s death, they will transfer the urn to the other person. So, it will start that my sister-in-law gets the urn first – for the first year. Then we get it for the second year, and so on.
I think that they should have talked to us (their families) before the two of them decided this. What do you think?
RB
Memory and cognitive decline: Family challenges
From observations of both my clients and my father, who was diagnosed with Pick’s disease in the early ’90s, I know that dementia and cognitive decline can bring out both the best and the worst in families.
Call Your Mother!
It is Mother’s Day this weekend and once again I have to remind my husband to call his mother. Honestly, this happens every year. Without me reminding him, I swear he would never call her. Why do I have to do this? What should I do?
Judy
HANK’S STORY: The gift of sound
For the past year or so, my husband and I have noticed that my dad’s hearing has been going downhill. It first started when we were travelling with him and mom. He kept asking us to repeat what we were saying.
Caregiver Survey
To all caregivers: During the next two months we will celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. These can be joyous occasions for many. Sad for those who have lost loved ones. And for caregivers, it can be a time of mixed emotions. Help for caregivers exists. But often that help is hard to locate and…
Staying safe in our senior years
There are many times in our lives when we worry about being safe. One of those times is as we get older. Staying safe includes our physical safety, our financial safety and our security both at home and away. It can involve things that are functional in nature (such as not falling) or the need to stay safe in the presence of others.
Elder Rage
For eleven years I pleaded with my elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but after 55 years of loving each other he adamantly insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired to help him sighed in exasperation, “Jacqueline, I just can’t work with your father–his temper is impossible to handle. I don’t think he’ll accept help until he’s on his knees himself.”
Dividing Up the Ashes
My mom just passed the Wednesday before Easter and now we are having problems with a brother who showed up after 35 years of absence. He wants the ashes from mom. We are going to take her back to you home where the rest of the family is. Mom wanted us to the two daughters to do this. She also informed us not to let the boys( our brothers) to not do this. She has tried over the years to call , write letters to the one brother that has been gone but there has never been a response. He has started to cause problems within the family by saying hurtful things. I do not know him personally since I have never even seen him as a child growing up or even talked to him until out of the blue he shows up. I found out he knew all this time where we lived he has said but then showed up after mom had passed the day after. My sister and I are going to do what mom wanted us to do with her. Do I need to do anything like get a lawyer or something in order for this brother to leave us alone? I bought a little urn for him to put some of moms ashes in it to give so we can do what we are suppose to do for mom to take her home. That seems to be not good enough. I even asked him if he will take mom back home like she wished and he said no he wants her with him.