Elder Rage
For eleven years I pleaded with my elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but after 55 years of loving each other he adamantly insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired to help him sighed in exasperation, “Jacqueline, I just can’t work with your father–his temper is impossible to handle. I don’t think he’ll accept help until he’s on his knees himself.”
Dividing Up the Ashes
My mom just passed the Wednesday before Easter and now we are having problems with a brother who showed up after 35 years of absence. He wants the ashes from mom. We are going to take her back to you home where the rest of the family is. Mom wanted us to the two daughters to do this. She also informed us not to let the boys( our brothers) to not do this. She has tried over the years to call , write letters to the one brother that has been gone but there has never been a response. He has started to cause problems within the family by saying hurtful things. I do not know him personally since I have never even seen him as a child growing up or even talked to him until out of the blue he shows up. I found out he knew all this time where we lived he has said but then showed up after mom had passed the day after. My sister and I are going to do what mom wanted us to do with her. Do I need to do anything like get a lawyer or something in order for this brother to leave us alone? I bought a little urn for him to put some of moms ashes in it to give so we can do what we are suppose to do for mom to take her home. That seems to be not good enough. I even asked him if he will take mom back home like she wished and he said no he wants her with him.
What devices do we need?
Dad has trouble moving around now and the part-time nurse who comes in has suggested a device to help him. What should I be considering for the home?
RITCHIE’S STORY: Sure-footed in the bathroom
When I found out the bathroom is one of the easiest places for a senior to fall, I immediately thought of my aging grandfather. Although he is 89 years old, nonno is still independent.
Getting Dad to eat more
Dad is refusing to eat much since mom died. How can I encourage him to eat more?
10 Ways to Make New Friends
There is no doubt that friendships can be our biggest asset. Feeling connected to friends and neighbours leads to a sense of well-being and contentment. It has also been shown to reduce blood pressure (really!) and is an important factor in preventing depression. Having good friends can be even more beneficial than having close family ties. Your friends like you because they choose to be your friends, not because they have any sense of familial obligation.
Not Invited AGAIN.
Well it happened again this year. My sister and my parents got together for Easter Brunch today and I was not invited AGAIN!
I cannot tell you how many times that they have planned things and not even bothered to ask if I would like to be included. It’s as if I am not part of the family. It really hurts me that they either don’t want me around or they just have forgotten to ask me. What should I do?
Vince
Attention: Canadian Lawyers
Want to volunteer on-line? We are looking for a Canadian lawyer to join our “Content Review Committee”. This position will help us review my draft answers in our “Dear Mary” section of our web site, prior to posting them live. “Losing Our Parents” is an Internet-based registered Canadian charity, offering education and support to people…
How many hours of care?
How many hours of care does my dad need? He’s 80 years old, lives alone and has trouble cooking his own meals and bathing.
JOSEPHINE’S STORY: Caring so much
After her diagnosis of dementia, Josephine couldn’t live alone anymore.