Caring for the Caregiver: Just Let Go and Float

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Dr. Phyllis Quinlan
Dr. Phyllis Quinlan

Lessons Learned from the ancient book of wisdom; The Tao Te Ching: Verse Thirty-Two

The Tao, eternally nameless, its simplicity, although imperceptible Cannot be treated by the world as subservient                                                                          

If the sovereign can hold on to it all will follow by themselves Heaven and Earth, together in harmony will rain sweet dew People will not need to force it; it will adjust by itself     

In the beginning, there were names. Names came to exist everywhere One should know when to stop. Knowing when to stop, thus avoiding danger 

The existence of the Tao in the world Is like streams in the valley into rivers and the ocean

 Lao Tzu

In verse thirty-two, Lao Tzu is encouraging us to resist our very human nature to over complicate things. I can just sense a compassionate smile come over him as he wrote these lines and connected with our need to try to control all that is around us. That approach only leads us to agonizing over why our lives seem so unmanageable.

Desire complicates the choices that we make and the actions that are taken. This complexity needs to be replaced with simplicity so that we may find the middle way and be more content. Grabbing for control is like clinging to delusions. They seem real while you live in your head but in reality they are just the cravings of your ego taking form in your dreams. When you realize that you have been dwelling in fantasy the pain is gripping.

In Tibetan Buddhism this is known as suffering or more closely translated as discontent. The Four Noble Truths in Buddhism are: (1) discontent exists; (2) discontent arises from attachment to desires, (3) discontent ceases when attachment to desire ceases, (4) freedom from discontent is possible by practicing the steps in eightfold path. These eight steps are (1) right view or mindset, (2) right thought, (3) right speech, (4) right action, (5) right livelihood, (6) right effort, (7) right mindfulness, (8) right concentration.

So you see the relief to discontent is within our grasp. It lies in knowing and accepting that life flows. We create our own pain by throwing the obstacles on our own path. We create the rapids and the chaos by clinging. So just let go and float. Find the faith and courage to accept that all is as it should be.

 

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”     His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

 

 

 

Respectfully submitted by:

Phyllis Quinlan, RN-Bc, PhD www.mfwconsultants.com mfwconsultants@gmail.com    718 661 498 http://www.linkedin.com/in/phyllisquinlan

http://www.facebook.com/PhyllisQuinlanCoaching

 

 

 

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Dr. Phyllis Quinlan

About Phyllis Quinlan, RN-Bc, PhD

Throughout her 30 plus year career, Phyllis has practiced in a variety of emergency, acute care, subacute care & LTC settings. She holds national certifications in Critical Care Nursing, Emergency Nursing and Continuing Education/Staff Development. She has held senior leadership positions in administration and education in a variety of healthcare venues in the Greater New York area & also practices as a Legal Nurse Consultant since 2004.

mfwconsultants@gmail.com | 718 661 4981

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