Attention: Canadian Lawyers
Want to volunteer on-line? We are looking for a Canadian lawyer to join our “Content Review Committee”. This position will help us review my draft answers in our “Dear Mary” section of our web site, prior to posting them live. “Losing Our Parents” is an Internet-based registered Canadian charity, offering education and support to people…
Welcome to my world
I have the major caregiver to both my parents for 14 years. My father died in 2000 and I have been looking after mom ever since. She had open heart surgery at the age of 85, she had a significant personality change. I also have a mentally challenged sister who has just been diagnosed with a rare lymphoma. To make matters worse, my brother, the alcoholic play boy has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. He has nothing to lose so he tried to sell my mothers’ land and he will not pay for the farm land that is in her name.
I am enduring power of attorney and he has legal charged me of changing my mother’s will, spending too much on her clothing and hair, and he thinks that I should not help our sister financially. So for the past 3 years, I have had to produce a receipt if I buy mom magazines, tips to the hair dresser etc. I am a 63 year old retired nurse living on a pension. The extra out of pocket money is mounting, because I need to produce financial spreadsheets etc. If mom passes, I just want to run away and work relief projects in Haiti or Bosnia wherever. My family thinks I am losing it. I have been the most responsible daughter and sister etc for years. I am dancing a daily ” jig” between resentment and guilt. What suggestions do you have? Am I too old to have a mid life crisis.
Thanks, Marilyn
Selling Mom’s Condo
My brother and I have not talked in about 16 years and I noticed that he is selling her condo. I was reading the local paper and her condo is listed with real estate company. Mom has been in a nursing home for years and my brother is her POA.
Since I did not know that he is selling her place, when should I get my share?
OLTCA / ORCA CONFERENCE
We are excited to join this great conference again this year. This will be our third year to have a booth at this conference at the Metro Convention Centre. Please drop by our booth #830 for a chat. See you at the conference on April 11, 12 2011!
Need to know
My Dad has MS and has about 4 months left to live. We are a very close family and his situation has finally set in with family and friends. My Dad and our family are bombarded with questions about his health on a daily bases. My Dad is a very private person and we are all getting tired of the same questions. We know that everyone means well but it is too much for us to handle. What should we do?
Geroge
Caring for Grandma
My husband’s mother is not doing very well these days. She is 88 years old and still lives in her own house. She has not been eating well, and is often found in bed when one of her children comes by to visit. My husband and his siblings do take good care of her, but where are the grandchildren to help? There are 11 of them, and none of them come over to actually do anything for her. They drop by to show off their young children and then leave. Why don’t they help out?
Rachel
What about the Urn?
My father-in-law died this week and he has just been cremated. What are we suppose to do with him now? My husband would like to bring the urn home and keep it forever. This idea drives me crazy. What should I do?
Pat
No longer Welcomed!
My Mom just left last night. She was with us for 10 days for a visit. We live about 2,800 miles apart, so it was great to have her here. My wife told me this morning that my Mom is no longer welcomed here. I had no idea that there was a problem that would cause my wife to make that statement. Should I persuade my wife to let my Mom continue to visit us?
Alex M.
Why do I have to pay?
Things are tight for both me and my parents. None of us have alot of money and helping them is really hard for me. They are in their mid 70’s – I have helped them out for a couple of years. How long is long enough to help them out? Why should I be expected to help them out?
Lm
Does this seem cruel to you?
I was talking with my brother who lives close to my Dad’s seniors’ residence. I live 2,500 miles away and miss being there. David was telling me about how Dad’s hearing aids went missing a couple of months ago. Since then, my brother bought him new ones, but only lets my Dad wear them when he goes to visit him. David visits my Dad once a week. When he arrives he lets my Dad use the hearing aids. When David leaves, he takes them with him. He does not want to keep paying for hearing aids, he is afraid that the new ones will also go missing. I think that this is crazy and cruel. What do you think?
Joe